I’ve just returned from a glorious week in Oakland, California, and while I have some thoughts to share about my time there, I have yet to craft them on paper (or in the computer), so I’m buying myself some time by sharing the sort of the thing that I see nearly daily, certainly weekly, here in South Florida. The sort of thing that makes me crazy.
I can’t remember which magazine this little gem came from… it could have been Atlantic Ave, or Delray Magazine, or some other glossy I failed to commit to memory. I started collecting these publications on my jaunts around town to bring home and peruse in the hopes of learning a bit about my new local community. And I suppose I should begin by saying that yes, I’ve learned a few things.
But mostly these shiny mags are vehicles for local advertising, the majority of which is geared toward the wealthy and aged. Yacht cruises, diamonds, Rolexes and Jaguars, luxury condos, posh properties, hair restoration, plastic surgery, dermatology associates (“Don’t worry – Your botox secret is safe with us!”), medical “boutiques,” and lots and lots of fitness shops (god forbid you have some flab on your, well, anywhere – one ad features an extensive photographic series of before and after “ass transformations”). You get the idea.
The gem above grabbed my attention more than once. See for yourself… those perky ass cheeks, so suggestively posed, as in Take me, right here, right now, as I indulge my senses in the buck leather interior of your Ferrari!
I found this so annoying each time I came across it, I’d quickly flip the page just to not have that woman’s ass in my face. I tossed magazine after magazine in the recycling, having flipped past this ad time and time again.
It was only recently, when coming across it for the umpteenth time, that I held it up to Tim, incredulous and seeking validation of my outrage. Would you look at this? I whined. It’s fu&king awful!
He looked, paused, then burst out laughing, and said, That tagline…Ugh!
Tagline? I hadn’t read any tagline. I’d always flipped the page too quickly to even see it, so I looked again, and only then did I actually read the literal message of the ad – “You may not be the first, but do you really care?”
Now this is supposed to be funny, I guess, because the cars are pre-owned. Get it? The cars.